The next day i woke up in depressed mood. The feeling of insecurity and lack of love was somewhere in my head.
On the road to practice I passed by my friend. He was asleep so i took sigarettes, to distract somehow myself from my thoughts.
I knew what i wanted to feel.
I want to release these tensions and emotions we revealed yesterday with my pshychologist.
The practice started. I was concentrating all the way in my body.
To bring attention there, inside.
To get out from the head, from those thought about my childhood, my relationships, my hard times in business…
I wanted to bring my awarness in the body, to feel it. And i wanted my body to feel relaxed, strong.
If my body is feeling it self good - I start to feel good.
So i breathed.
Breathed and concentrating on the breath, on the air. Pumping it in the body from one point to another. Feeling how the air and energy with it goes in my body to it's specific parts, bringning new oxygen and energy from the nature, from life.
Tapping on my body, waking it up, shaking, feeling the body, bringing awareness to my chest, my throut, my head, my crown chakra, spine as a center, feeling the 3rd eye point and breating out from there and from the whole body.
At some point, after 20-40 minutes of mudras, breathing and working with the head and neck - i realized that i feel now how my head became more clear, less thoughts, less emotions, it became more stable.
I feel the energy moving inside. The flow of something in the head, in the neck.
And it moves freely.
Next we started to tap on the collar bones. And this area reflects and connects to our inner child.
I knew that.
I concentrated even more on my sensations and emotions. From early morning i knew that i wanna feel those emotions of myself at 6-8 y/o.
All that i was banned to feel and told, that they are no important.
I continued my tapping.
Breathing in the area of collar bones.
Connecting with my inner child, with myself, small Alex.
Peewee : "Now put left arm under the right arm on your neck, inhale full.
Hold your breath and squize your neck.
When you feel the point - release"
After 30 seconds I did that kriya exercise I realized my self in the space.
"Where am i?"
"Did i lose my conscious?"
"Wow… barely standing... "
"Alright… I am here. I know all of these people… we are practicing.
Yes! Just now we did one kriya with the neck.
Yes. Now i remember.
Oh my gosh. I feel like i've been rebooted.
I was still trying to keep my body from not falling down.
I sat on the mat.
Sat down to understand what's happ…..
Tears started to flow from my eyes.
I was feeling.
Feeling that deep deep sadness, what felt little me when he wanted to feel but was not allowed.
I felt so deep.
I got so much connected.
I felt myself.
So much more things that keep triggering and bringing reactions what i wanna transform.
Now i am laughing.
I noticed people around me. They obviously are experiencing something.
Something beutiful )
I am smiling.
I feel love inside.
I feel so much release.
So happy to meet myself.
So happy to feel what he feels.
Thank you Peewee so much!